Traveling Solo: A Wife's Freedom And Adventure

Travelling alone as a married woman is a topic that sparks curiosity and concern. Many people believe that married couples should do everything together, but this is not always feasible or desirable. Some wives travel alone due to work commitments or a desire for independent adventures. It is essential to communicate intentions and plans clearly with one's partner to ensure mutual understanding and respect. While travelling alone can strengthen a relationship by fostering independence and self-discovery, it may also lead to feelings of jealousy and resentment if not handled sensitively. Open and honest conversations about solo travel plans, motivations, and expectations are crucial for maintaining a healthy relationship dynamic.

Communicating your intentions to your partner

Communicating your intentions to travel alone to your partner can be a tricky conversation to navigate, but there are several ways to approach it. Firstly, it's important to recognise that travelling alone while married or in a committed relationship is normal and can even strengthen your bond. It's also beneficial to keep in mind that your partner might need some time to understand and accept your desire to travel independently. Here are some strategies to help you effectively communicate your intentions:

Focus on your reasons

Articulate why solo travel is important to you. Are you seeking personal growth, self-discovery, or a chance to pursue individual passions? Explain the deeper reasons behind your desire to travel alone. For example, you might say, "I don't often get to be on my own, and I feel I need to get to know myself better."

Use "I" statements

Frame your desire for solo travel in terms of your personal needs and experiences. Avoid blaming or criticising your partner by using "you" statements, which could create unnecessary tension. For example, instead of saying, "You and I have different travel styles," try saying, "I prefer travelling alone because it helps me explore my interests at my own pace."

Be firm and direct

While it may be challenging, it's important to be clear and direct about your intentions. Avoid leaving room for ambiguity or giving false hope. Be honest and respectful, ensuring your partner understands that your decision is final.

Offer an alternative

To soften the impact of your decision, consider offering an alternative trip or activity that you can do together. This shows your partner that you still value your time together and want to create shared experiences. For example, you could suggest, "I'd love to plan a trip with you to a place we've both wanted to visit after I return from my solo trip."

Choose an appropriate time

Be mindful of your partner's schedule and important dates when planning your solo trip. Discuss your travel arrangements and dates to ensure they don't conflict with any significant events or milestones in their life. This consideration will show your partner that you value their time and priorities.

Maintain open communication

Keep the lines of communication open before, during, and after your solo trip. Share your experiences, thoughts, and feelings with your partner, especially if they express interest in hearing about your journey. This will help them feel included in your life, even when you're apart.

Remember, every relationship is unique, and there is no one-size-fits-all approach to communicating about solo travel. Adapt these strategies to fit your specific situation and relationship dynamics. By prioritising open and honest communication, you can effectively convey your intentions to travel alone while maintaining a healthy and supportive partnership.

The benefits of solo travel for your relationship

Solo travel is an increasingly popular way to see the world, and it comes with a host of advantages, from increased personal autonomy to much-needed 'me time'. But what positive effects can it have on your relationship?

It allows you to follow your own passions

Travelling alone gives you the opportunity to explore your passions and have new experiences. As humans, this is so important for maintaining a sense of wellbeing. Just because we’re in a relationship, it doesn’t mean we have to rely on our partner to be the source of our happiness, or that we have to stop evolving as a person. When we have the space and freedom to explore our passions, try new things, and meet new people, it makes us happier, keeps us growing, and allows us to maintain a sense of curiosity about life and the world. The relationship will then reap the rewards of this.

Distance really can make the heart grow fonder

According to a study into long-distance relationships by researchers at Queen's University in Ontario, “greater distance apart predicted more intimacy, communication and relationship satisfaction”. Relationships often become stagnant because people fall into habits and routines. The time spent with each other is easily taken for granted. Time apart every now and then keeps things fresh, the conversation engaging, and that spark alive. The two people appreciate one another on a deeper level because they have the chance to miss each other.

It can make you more self-sufficient

Relationships can often suffer and feel strained because one or both of the couple can become dependent on the other. While it’s great to support each other practically and emotionally, it’s important that both people are able to do this as individuals. Travelling alone gives you the opportunity to put yourself in situations where you have to be independent. This is a crucial life skill and contributes to a much more fulfilling and relaxed relationship.

Discover something new about yourself

A huge benefit of solo travel is that it enables us to discover new things about ourselves and push us out of our comfort zone. We can easily get stuck in a rut of doing the same thing over and over while in a relationship. We can even lose our identity – a huge realisation that often occurs following a break-up or divorce. Therefore, it can feel incredibly exciting and freeing to travel without your partner so you can keep discovering new things and grow as a person – to learn new perspectives, skills, and to keep stimulating your brain and senses in different ways. We can become more dynamic as people and, in turn, that can keep the relationship growing too.

It can strengthen your bond

According to Dr. Miro Gudelsky, a sex therapist, relationship counsellor, and intimacy expert based in Los Angeles, travelling solo can strengthen your bond with your partner. “You really get a chance to figure out who you are, what you like or don’t like,” he says. “This, in turn, can make your relationship stronger and more satisfying.”

The importance of individual identities within a relationship

Travelling alone can be a contentious issue for those in relationships, but it is an important aspect of maintaining individual identities within a relationship. Individual identities are essential for building fulfilling and authentic connections. They allow for honest and open communication, creating a foundation of understanding, respect, and growth.

Firstly, it is crucial to recognise that relationships are not a "one-size-fits-all" concept. Relationship identity acknowledges that individuals have autonomy and agency, allowing them to shape their romantic connections according to their unique preferences, needs, and values. For instance, some couples may prefer sleeping in separate rooms to prioritise personal space and undisturbed rest, while others may find comfort in sharing a bed. Respecting these differences and individual choices is essential for fostering mutual understanding and a sense of fulfilment in a relationship.

Additionally, embracing individual identities within a relationship involves allowing each partner the freedom to pursue their personal interests, hobbies, and friendships. This promotes individual growth and self-expression, enhancing the relationship's health and longevity. It is important to remember that no two people can be everything to each other, and friendships and family fill essential spaces that partners are not meant to fill. Encouraging your partner to cultivate their own social circle and pursue their passions can strengthen your relationship and provide a supportive network during periods of separation, such as when one partner is travelling alone.

Furthermore, individual identities within a relationship can lead to more interesting and meaningful conversations. Spending time apart, pursuing separate interests and experiences, creates new topics of conversation and adds excitement to the relationship. This can help maintain a sense of novelty and prevent stagnation.

Finally, recognising individual identities within a relationship involves understanding and respecting each other's needs for personal space and independence. This is particularly relevant when one partner travels alone, as it can be challenging for the other partner to adjust to the temporary change in routine and dynamics. Communicating openly about these adjustments and respecting each other's boundaries can help ensure that both partners feel valued and considered, even during periods of separation.

In conclusion, embracing individual identities within a relationship fosters mutual understanding, open communication, and respect for each partner's unique preferences and needs. It allows for personal growth, strengthens the relationship's foundation, and helps create a sense of fulfilment and emotional well-being for both individuals.

How to deal with feelings of jealousy or resentment

Dealing with feelings of jealousy or resentment can be difficult, but there are several strategies that can help:

• Acknowledge and communicate: Recognize and accept your feelings of jealousy, and then openly discuss them with your partner. Be honest and vulnerable, and work together to address any underlying issues or insecurities.
• Build trust: Jealousy often stems from insecurity and a fear of losing your partner. Strengthen your relationship by building an atmosphere of trust, being faithful, committed, and honest with each other.
• Address your own needs: Identify your unspoken and unmet needs. Ask yourself what you are feeling insecure about and what you need from your partner to feel more secure. Then, communicate these needs to your partner.
• Don't make rash decisions: Jealousy can lead to impulsive decisions that may harm your relationship. Take time to self-soothe and calm down before acting on your feelings.
• Boost your self-esteem: Low self-esteem and insecurity are common causes of jealousy. Work on improving your self-image and recognizing your worth. Make a list of things you love about yourself, and surround yourself with people who build you up.
• Develop healthy coping skills: Learn healthy ways to cope with jealous feelings, such as deep breathing, progressive muscle relaxation, or mindfulness activities.
• Seek professional help: If jealousy is affecting your daily life or leading to problematic behaviors, consider talking to a therapist or counselor. They can help you understand and manage your emotions more effectively.

Making travel arrangements and staying connected while apart

Making Travel Arrangements:

• Research the destination thoroughly, including safety, transportation, food options, and cultural norms.
• Book accommodation that aligns with your preferences and needs, considering location, amenities, security, and meal options.
• Utilize a travel management tool or company to streamline the booking process and ensure compliance with any relevant policies.
• Keep track of your traveller's preferences, such as seating preferences, meal choices, and loyalty programs.
• Prepare essential travel documents, such as passports, visas, and accommodation bookings, and provide digital and physical copies.
• Create a detailed itinerary, including flight, transportation, and accommodation details, as well as any meetings or activities.
• Anticipate challenges and have a plan for dealing with unexpected changes or emergencies.
• Allow for personal time and leisure activities to ensure a balanced and enjoyable trip.

Staying Connected While Apart:

• Establish open and frequent communication. Share your experiences, thoughts, and feelings regularly.
• Utilize technology, such as video calls, text messages, and social media, to stay connected and create virtual dates.
• Send physical letters or postcards to add a personal touch and novelty to your correspondence.
• Plan activities and rituals that you can share from a distance, such as watching the same TV show or reading the same book.
• Encourage each other to socialise and engage in independent activities to maintain a sense of independence and well-being.
• Be mindful of your partner's feelings and acknowledge that distance can be challenging, but also an opportunity for growth and strengthening your connection.

Frequently asked questions