Dating someone who travels frequently for work can be challenging, but it's not impossible. Effective communication is key, and it's important to be clear about your needs and expectations from the start. It's also helpful to establish a routine for staying in touch and making each other feel special, whether that's through daily FaceTime calls, silly videos, or small gestures like sending a handwritten card. When you are together, make the most of your time by unplugging from technology and being fully present with each other. It can also be fun to brainstorm future trips and vacations, creating a bucket list of places to visit and experiences to share.
Characteristics | Values |
---|---|
Communication | Discuss communication preferences and frequency |
Ask about each other's days and meetings | |
Stay connected through video calls, texts, and emails | |
Share your feelings and be vulnerable | |
Creativity | Brainstorm future trips and vacations |
Send small gifts, cards, and thoughtful surprises | |
Plan activities and dates when you are together | |
Support | Be understanding of their work schedule and commitments |
Reassure your partner that they are missed | |
Be supportive of their travel plans and adventures | |
Self-care | Maintain a routine of self-care practices like yoga and meditation |
Take yourself on dates and do things you enjoy | |
Focus on hobbies and activities that make you happy |
What You'll Learn
Communicate your needs and wants
Communicating your needs and wants is crucial in any relationship, and it becomes even more important when your partner travels a lot for work. Here are some tips to help you effectively communicate your needs and wants while dating someone who travels frequently:
Identify Your Needs
It is important to first identify what your needs are. Ask yourself, "What do I need from this relationship?" This may seem obvious, but sometimes people can feel unhappy without knowing why. Take time to reflect and understand what is bothering you and what you need from your partner. Write down your feelings and needs if that helps bring clarity. Some common needs in relationships include connection, physical intimacy, and independence.
Choose the Right Time and Place
Once you know what your needs are, find an appropriate time and place to discuss them with your partner. Ensure you have their full attention and that they are not too tired or busy with other tasks. If they are out of town, consider the urgency of the conversation. If it can wait, it may be best to have this discussion in person. If not, set up a phone or video call.
Use "I" Statements
When expressing your needs, use "I" statements to focus on your feelings and experiences. For example, say, "I feel valued when you listen attentively" or "I need more quality time together." This approach ensures that your partner understands your perspective without feeling blamed or criticized.
Beware of Complaints, Demands, or Blame
Be mindful not to turn your expression of needs into complaints or demands directed at your partner. Avoid "you" statements like, "You never..." or "You should..." These can put your partner on the defensive and lead to arguments. Instead, focus on your feelings and use positive language to find solutions together.
Be Honest and Clear
Be direct and honest about what you need, but also be respectful of your partner's feelings and boundaries. Don't expect them to guess what you want. Use a gentle and considerate tone, and be open to compromise and negotiation to find solutions that work for both of you.
Seek Mutual Understanding
Instead of trying to win an argument, aim for mutual understanding and finding common ground. Ask open-ended questions to see things from your partner's perspective and work together to find solutions that meet both your needs.
Stay Connected
When your partner is away, make an effort to stay connected. Send quick messages or videos during the day, and plan video chats or phone calls to maintain your emotional connection. Share the small details of your day-to-day lives to stay close and visualize each other's experiences.
Surround Yourself with Love
Remember that romantic relationships are not the only source of love and support. While your partner is away, connect with family and friends, and attend community events. Filling your time with a strong support system will help you feel less lonely and more fulfilled.
Practice Self-Care
Take yourself out on dates and do things you enjoy. Practice self-care and engage in activities that make you happy. This could be trying a new hobby, going to an exhibition, or treating yourself to a nice dinner. Use your partner's travel time as a period of self-discovery and self-love.
Create Rituals Around Their Travel
Turn the anticipation of your partner's trip into a shared ritual. Help each other pack, leave love notes in their suitcase, and send funny memes or messages throughout the day. Choose a book or TV show to enjoy together, even while apart, to create a sense of connection and shared experience.
Bridge the Distance with Empathy
Understand that your partner may also feel lonely and sad while travelling. Be vulnerable and express your emotions. Acknowledge your feelings of sadness, abandonment, or resentment. By doing so, you open the door for meaningful conversations and strengthen your emotional connection.
Remember that effective communication is key to meeting each other's needs. Be patient, communicate often, practice gratitude, and reconnect with what brought you together in the first place.
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Plan how and when to communicate
Planning how and when to communicate is essential for maintaining a strong connection in a long-distance relationship. Here are some tips to optimise your communication:
Schedule dedicated time to communicate
It is important to set aside regular times for communication, such as daily phone calls or video chats. Find a time that works for both of you and stick to it, treating it as a priority, just like any other essential daily task. If you are unable to make a scheduled call, send a pre-recorded message or a video to let your partner know you are thinking of them and to prevent feelings of neglect.
Use a variety of communication methods
In addition to phone and video calls, utilise other methods such as texting, email, messaging apps, and even handwritten letters. This provides multiple avenues to stay connected and can cater to different situations and needs. For example, a quick text throughout the day can be convenient, while emails allow for more in-depth discussions.
Be open and honest
Honesty and openness are vital for building trust and strengthening your connection. Be willing to share your feelings, thoughts, and concerns, and listen to your partner's perspective. Being sincere and genuine in your interactions fosters authenticity and helps to create a safe space for both individuals.
Be flexible and adaptable
Life can be unpredictable, so it is important to remain flexible and adaptable when planning communication. Understand that schedules may change, and be willing to adjust as needed to ensure regular communication. This may involve expressing your needs and setting boundaries to ensure that your personal time is also respected.
Get creative with technology
Make use of technology to spice up your communication. For example, you can use apps specifically designed for long-distance couples, such as Couple, LokLok, or Rabbit. These apps offer features like private social networks, doodle-sharing, and synchronised streaming. Additionally, consider sending care packages to bridge the physical gap and provide a tangible connection.
Prioritise voice and video calls
While texting is convenient, it can also lead to miscommunication and confusion. Prioritise voice and video calls, as they allow for clearer expression and understanding through tone of voice, facial expressions, and body language. These forms of communication can help strengthen your emotional connection and make the distance feel more manageable.
Practice active listening
Active listening is a crucial aspect of effective communication. When your partner is sharing their thoughts, make sure to give them your undivided attention and acknowledge what they are saying. This helps them feel valued, understood, and truly heard, adding a mindful presence to your relationship.
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Be present when you're together
Being present when you're together is crucial in a long-distance relationship. Here are some ways to ensure you're making the most of your time with your partner when you're able to be physically together:
- Create rituals around their travel – Turn the anticipation before a trip into a shared routine. Help each other pack, leave little notes or gifts in their suitcase, and send funny memes throughout the day. Choose a book or a TV show to get into together so you have something in common to share and discuss while you're apart.
- Make the most of your time together – Plan ahead to get good deals on plane tickets or look into alternative transportation options such as trains or ride-shares. Consider meeting at a halfway point to lighten the burden and explore a new city together.
- Spend time together virtually – Thanks to modern technology, you can still do many things together even when you're apart. Try watching a movie or TV show together by synchronizing the start time, or one partner can watch through a webcam. You can also share a walk by talking on the phone or video chatting while spending time outside in your neighborhood or a favorite spot.
- Share physical reminders of each other – Leave some belongings with each other when you're together, such as clothes in the closet, books on the shelf, or a favorite brand of tea or coffee. These reminders can help make the time until your next visit feel a little shorter.
- Make communication a priority – Discuss your communication needs and preferences at the beginning of the relationship. Decide how often you want to talk and what methods of communication work best for both of you. Be intentional about staying connected, and make sure to communicate openly and honestly, especially when it comes to difficult emotions or feelings.
- Maintain your independence – Even though your partner is away, try to keep up with your usual routines and spend time with friends and family. This will help prevent you from feeling too dependent on your partner and can also relieve feelings of loneliness.
- Keep things interesting – Long-distance relationships can be challenging, so it's important to find ways to spice things up and keep the spark alive. Try sending sexy photos or having phone sex, as long as both partners are comfortable with digital intimacy. You can also send surprise gifts or care packages to let your partner know you're thinking of them.
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Make time for yourself and your hobbies
When you're dating someone who travels a lot for work, it's important to make time for yourself and your hobbies. This means focusing on activities that make you happy and give you a sense of direction and purpose outside of the relationship. Here are some ways to do that:
- Engage in activities that you enjoy but wouldn't typically do with your partner: For example, if there's a new exhibition you're excited about but your partner isn't into art, go ahead and visit it on your own. Or, if there's a new restaurant you're eager to try but your partner is allergic to the cuisine, treat yourself to a meal there. Use the time when your partner is away to explore your interests and passions independently.
- Pursue personal development through hobbies and classes: Sign up for piano lessons, fitness classes, cooking classes, or any other activity that sparks your interest. Learning something new and improving your skills can be fulfilling and provide a sense of accomplishment.
- Find joy in simple pleasures: If you're the one travelling, carve out time for yourself during your trips. Take a morning walk with your coffee to explore the neighbourhood or visit the local market to gather fresh ingredients for a meal. These simple pleasures can bring you joy and a sense of connection to the places you visit.
- Maintain a routine of self-care practices: Develop a daily practice of meditation and yoga to help you stay grounded and calm, especially when your partner is away. This can be a great way to nurture your mental and physical well-being, providing you with a sense of inner peace and self-awareness.
- Connect with nature: Spend time in nature, such as going for hikes or exploring outdoor scenic spots. Being in nature can be soothing and provide a sense of tranquility, allowing you to reflect and reconnect with yourself.
- Socialise and build a support system: While your romantic relationship is important, it's also crucial to nurture other relationships and build a strong support system. Connect with family and friends, attend community gatherings, and cultivate a network of people who can support you when your partner is away.
Remember, making time for yourself and your hobbies is essential for your well-being and can ultimately strengthen your relationship. By taking care of yourself and pursuing your interests, you'll be able to show up as the best version of yourself in your partnership.
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Be honest about your feelings
Being honest about your feelings is crucial when dating someone who travels frequently for work. It's important to communicate your emotions effectively and create a safe space for vulnerable discussions. Here are some ways to approach this:
Express Your Emotions
It's normal to feel a range of emotions when your partner is away, such as sadness, loneliness, or even frustration. Instead of bottling up these feelings, be honest and share them with your partner. For example, you can say something like, "I really miss you and feel abandoned when you go out of town." This openness creates an opportunity for a meaningful conversation and helps your partner understand your experience better.
Choose the Right Time
While honesty is essential, choosing the right moment to express your feelings is also crucial. Avoid bringing up significant conversations right before your partner leaves for a trip or immediately after they return. They may not be in the right headspace to engage fully in these discussions. Instead, try to find a calm moment when you're both available and open to talking.
Understand Their Perspective
Being honest about your feelings doesn't mean ignoring your partner's perspective. Recognize that they may also be struggling with the distance and missing you. Empathize with their situation and try to understand their feelings as well. This mutual understanding will strengthen your bond and help you navigate the challenges of long-distance periods.
Be Proactive
Don't wait for issues to arise; be proactive in addressing your feelings. If you're feeling neglected or insecure, initiate a conversation about your communication preferences and needs. Discuss how often you'd like to connect, what methods of communication work best for you, and any specific requests you have. By being proactive, you can prevent small issues from turning into bigger problems.
Seek Creative Solutions
Sometimes, being honest about your feelings can lead to creative solutions that strengthen your connection. For example, if you're feeling lonely, you might suggest having regular video dates or sending each other voice messages throughout the day. These small gestures can make a big difference in how you both perceive the distance.
Remember, honesty is a key component of any healthy relationship, especially when dating someone who travels frequently for work. By expressing your emotions, choosing the right moments to talk, understanding your partner's perspective, being proactive, and seeking creative solutions, you can ensure that your relationship remains strong and fulfilling for both of you.
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Frequently asked questions
Embrace the new wave of online dating and use the fact that you are in multiple locations to your advantage. Do a search before you arrive in a new place and arrange a date.
Long distances, alternating schedules, and different jobs can make it hard to get on the same page. It can be tough to maintain a healthy relationship when you're rarely on your "home" turf.
Communicate about how you want to communicate. Ask about their work and share details of your day to help each other visualize your experiences and stay close. Get creative with technology—for example, FaceTime daily or send silly Marco Polo videos. Focus on small surprises, like sending a handwritten card or flowers.
Surround yourself with different dimensions of love. Connect with family and friends, and attend community gatherings. Don't put your life on hold while you wait for your partner to return.