Parent's Work Travel: Impact And Strategies For Children

when a parent has to travel for work

When a parent has to travel for work, it can be a challenging experience for the entire family. The time spent away from home can disrupt daily routines and cause separation anxiety, especially in younger children. Planning and preparation are crucial to making these periods more manageable and positive for everyone involved. This includes practical steps such as creating a calendar, preparing necessary items in advance, and scheduling focused time with children before the trip. Open communication is essential, as it allows children to express their feelings and helps parents address their concerns. Maintaining connections during the trip through storytelling, photos, video calls, and notes can also ease the burden of separation. Striking a balance between work commitments and family life is a continuous endeavour, requiring flexibility, perspective, and a strong support system.

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Planning your child's care

Choose a Caregiver:

Select a trusted caregiver who will be responsible for your child while you are away. This could be your spouse, a family member, a babysitter, or a nanny. Ensure that they are capable and willing to handle the responsibilities and that your child is comfortable with them.

Prepare the Caregiver:

Before you leave, provide the caregiver with detailed instructions on your child's routine, including bedtimes, feeding schedules, and any other important information. Leave emergency contact information and a list of important phone numbers, including doctors, hospitals, and poison control. Also, inform them about any allergies or medical conditions your child has and how to handle them in case of an emergency.

Create a Schedule:

Work with the caregiver to create a daily schedule for your child. This should include mealtimes, nap times, activities, and any other important events or routines. Try to maintain consistency with your child's existing routine as much as possible to minimize disruption.

Prepare Your Child:

Talk to your child about your upcoming trip and explain where you are going, why you have to travel, and when you will return. Be honest and reassuring, and address any fears or concerns they may have. If your child is old enough, involve them in the planning process and ask for their input on the schedule and activities they would like to do while you are away.

Stay Connected:

Find ways to stay connected with your child during your trip. Schedule regular video calls or phone calls at specific times so they can see and hear from you regularly. You can also send them photos, videos, or voice messages throughout the day to let them know you are thinking about them. If possible, bring them a small gift or souvenir from your travels.

Prepare in Advance:

Before you leave, make sure everything your child needs is ready and packed. This includes clothes, school supplies, snacks, medications, and any other essentials. Also, prepare any necessary documents, such as medical consent forms or authorization letters, giving the caregiver permission to make decisions on your behalf if needed.

Remember that it's normal for both you and your child to feel anxious or sad about being apart. By choosing a reliable caregiver, preparing them in advance, and staying connected during your trip, you can help ensure that your child is well cared for and that your time away is as stress-free as possible.

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Preparing your child for your absence

Choose the Right Time to Tell Your Child:

The timing of when to inform your child about your trip depends on their age and understanding. For toddlers and preschoolers, it is advisable to give them only a day or two's notice, as they don't comprehend the concept of time. Older children and tweens are more understanding, so informing them three to four days in advance is appropriate.

Share Details About Your Trip:

Explain to your child where you are going, why you have to go, what you will be doing, and when you will return. Mark your departure and return dates on a calendar, and suggest that they cross off each day until your return. Show them pictures or point out the location on a map to give them a better understanding of your destination. Let them know who will be taking care of them and assure them that they will be safe and loved.

Maintain Daily Routines:

Try to maintain your child's daily routines as much as possible. Leave detailed instructions for their caregiver or babysitter regarding bedtimes, meals, and other important information. This consistency will help your child feel more secure while you are away.

Leave Reminders and Mementos:

Leave behind something that belongs to you, such as a t-shirt or a favourite book, to provide comfort and familiarity. Leave surprise notes in places they can easily find, such as their toy box or backpack. You can also record yourself reading a bedtime story so they can listen to your voice before bed.

Practice Goodbyes:

Prepare your child for your departure by practicing goodbyes. Narrate the idea of being away before the trip, reminding them of specific situations where they were happy and cared for in your absence. Use storytelling tools, such as books or songs, to help them understand and cope with separation.

Keep Them Informed:

Discuss your work travel with your child, explaining who will be taking care of them and allowing them to share their feelings. Help them develop emotional intelligence so they can better cope with your absence. Assure them that you will stay connected, and plan fun ways to stay in touch, such as nightly phone calls or video chats.

Remember, every child is unique, and you know your child best. Use these strategies as a guide, and adapt them to suit your child's needs and personality. By preparing your child for your absence, you can help ease their worries and make your time apart more manageable.

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Maintaining a connection while away

Maintaining a connection with your children while away on business trips can be challenging, but there are several strategies that can help. Here are some tips to stay connected and make your time away less stressful for your family:

Before the Trip:

  • Decide when to tell your kids: The timing depends on your child's age and temperament. For toddlers and preschoolers, who don't understand the concept of time, give them only a couple of days' notice. For older kids and tweens, who are more independent, you can let them know 3-4 days in advance.
  • Share details about the trip: Inform your child about when you're leaving, where you're going, what you'll be doing, how they can contact you, and when you'll return. Mark your departure and return dates on a colourful calendar. For young kids who may not understand dates, suggest crossing out one day each morning and explain that you'll be back on the day with the star.
  • Help them understand your location: Show photos of your destination, point it out on a map, or research it together on the internet or in a book. This can make the trip more tangible and exciting for them.
  • Plan their care: Let your child know who will be taking care of them while you're away and whether they will stay at home or go elsewhere, like Grandma's house. Leave detailed instructions for their caregiver or babysitter about bedtimes, feeding schedules, and any other necessary information to maintain consistency.

During the Trip:

  • Leave reminders: Give your child something that belongs to you, such as a t-shirt or a photo. This can help reduce separation anxiety and keep your presence felt in the home.
  • Avoid tough goodbyes: Sneaking away or prolonging the departure can make goodbyes more challenging. Instead, opt for a brief and positive farewell. Give your child a hug and kiss, express your love, and say something like, "I can't wait to see you when I come back, but I know you're going to have a good time."
  • Check-in regularly: Touch base with your child and their caretaker daily. Hearing your voice and having updates from you can make the separation easier. However, avoid incessant calling, as it may disrupt your child's routine and frustrate your partner.
  • Play games or watch TV shows together: Bond with your family by doing activities together online, such as playing games or watching TV shows simultaneously. This can create a sense of shared experience despite the distance.
  • Send postcards or letters: If your children are older, consider sending postcards or letters from your travels. They will appreciate receiving mail and feeling included in your adventures.
  • Make use of technology: Take advantage of technology to stay connected. Video calls or chats can be a great way to see and interact with your children while you're away.

After the Trip:

  • Spend time together: When you return, make sure to spend quality time with your child. Give them your undivided attention for at least 15-20 minutes when you arrive home. Catch up, give hugs and kisses, and listen to their stories. This will help them feel valued and loved.
  • Ease back into your routine: Don't expect everything to go back to normal immediately. Give yourself and your child some time to adjust. Be prepared to be the primary caregiver upon your return, and take care of your own laundry and luggage.
  • Share your experiences: Bring back souvenirs or gifts that represent your travels. Share stories about your trip, any interesting people you met, or unique experiences you had. This will not only help your child learn about new places but also create a sense of inclusion.

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Returning home

Before You Return

While you're still away, there are a few things you can do to make your return easier. Firstly, try to arrive and depart conscientiously. If possible, avoid leaving on a Friday night or returning on a Sunday evening, as this can disrupt your family's weekend. Also, consider whether your arrival will be welcome or disruptive. If you have young children, try to time your return so that you can stick to their daily routines as much as possible.

When You Get Back

Once you're back, it's important to acknowledge that both you and your partner are likely exhausted. Respect each other's contributions and be understanding if your partner needs some time to adjust to having you back in the house. Be flexible about calls or video chats with your children while you're away—bedtime chats might be too upsetting, so stick to morning or dinnertime.

The First Few Days

In the first few days after your return, it's important to take things slowly and not rush back into your previous routine. Spend some quality time with your children, but also make sure to carve out some downtime for yourself. You might be feeling a bit of post-travel depression, so it's important to stay active and keep yourself busy. Go for a run, offer to walk a dog, or catch up on any life admin that needs to be done.

The Longer-Term View

In the longer term, you might find that your perspective on things has changed after your time away. This could be related to your career, your home life, or your passions and interests. Take some time to reflect on what you've learned and how you've developed while you were away, and consider how you can incorporate these insights into your life at home.

Remember that it's normal to feel a range of emotions when returning home from a trip, and give yourself time to readjust. By planning ahead and taking things step by step, you can make the transition smoother for yourself and your family.

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Adjusting to changes

Communication is Key:

  • Decide when to tell your children about the upcoming trip based on their age and temperament. Younger children may only need a couple of days' notice, while older kids can be informed three to four days in advance.
  • Share details about the trip, such as when you're leaving, where you're going, what you'll be doing, and when you'll return. Mark the dates on a calendar and help them understand your destination by showing photos or pointing it out on a map.
  • Discuss the travel plans with your partner beforehand, including the duration, purpose, and expectations during the trip.

Maintain Routines and Create Rituals:

  • Stick to daily routines as much as possible. Keep bedtimes, feeding schedules, and other aspects of your child's routine consistent.
  • Develop rituals to ease the transition. This could include seeing your partner off before they leave, leaving love notes in their luggage, or bringing back gifts for the family.
  • Keep your child busy with fun activities that your spouse may not enjoy doing. This can be a special bonding time between the child and the parent who is at home.

Stay Connected:

  • Try to communicate with your spouse or partner daily, whether through video chats, phone calls, or text messages.
  • Leave reminders for your child, such as a t-shirt or a photo of the absent parent. Leave surprise notes in places they can easily find, and record yourself reading a bedtime story.
  • Check in with your child and caretaker during the trip. Schedule daily chats to hear about their updates and share your experiences.

Prepare and Organize:

  • Make a plan for paying bills and handling other personal tasks before your spouse leaves.
  • Have a list of available babysitters or family members who can help with childcare.
  • Ensure your child's preschool or daycare has an additional contact in case of emergencies.
  • Stock up on easy meals or order in occasionally to reduce the burden of cooking.

Acknowledge and Adjust:

  • Understand that the returning parent will need time to adjust to being back in the family's space. Be flexible and acknowledge the tension together.
  • Give your returning spouse time to reconnect with the children and re-establish their parenting routines.
  • Be prepared for changes in your child's behaviour. They may express their feelings through tantrums, rebellious behaviour, or increased separation anxiety. Talk to your child and ask open-ended questions to help them open up about their feelings.

Frequently asked questions

The timing depends on your child's age and temperament. For toddlers and preschoolers, give them only a couple of days' notice. For older kids and tweens, let them know at least three to four days ahead of time.

Share the details of your trip, including when you're leaving, where you're going, what you'll be doing, how they can contact you, and when you'll return. Help them understand your destination by showing photos or pointing it out on a map. Let them know who will be taking care of them and whether they'll stay home or go elsewhere.

There are several ways to stay connected, such as reading bedtime stories over the phone or video chat, sharing photos throughout the day, using video phone calls to connect face-to-face, leaving notes or pictures for them to find, and sending postcards from your travels.

It's important to acknowledge that your child may need time to adjust to your return. Avoid making any major changes to their routine while you're away, and try to stick to their usual schedule. Dive into your parenting duties when you get home, and be prepared to be the primary caregiver.

It's normal to feel guilty or stressed about leaving your child. However, it's important to believe that the benefits of travelling outweigh the costs. Spend time thinking about why it's important for you to travel and how it can positively impact your child and family.

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